Thursday, December 30, 2010

Just because you have your feet in stirrups doesn't mean you have to take it lying down

Who is this person, and why is she posting on this blog that had long ago been marked as dead? I know, I know, but with all that came at me this fall, I think part of me had to hibernate to protect itself. But it doesn't mean I've given up. I've just been busy trying to find the right path to becoming a mom.

Of course, I'm no closer to figuring it out, but I figured I needed to at least surface one more time in 2010.

Also, if I didn't get down that quote for the subject, I was going to forget it. ;) And the context behind it that was my fight with the Big Huge Reproductive Medicine Center after I started to get bill, upon bill, upon bill for what I had put down an enormous deposit to cover, even though they said the cost would only be half that.

Oh, big medical offices, always finding a way to bill you for things NOT covered, never mind flat out LYING to you. Oddly enough, I knew this was the very reason that Dr. Wonderful and 3 of her colleagues were leaving BHRMC...

But, dear readers, I didn't take it lying down and hit back swinging. Do not mess with a woman on her 4th chemical pregnancy and with hormones completely out of whack from injectibles. I used my knowledge of the knock-down drag-out going on internally and got in some nasty punches. I also demanded that everything I was being charged for (twice -- they tried to charge me for everything twice!) be submitted to my insurance company for reimbursement, and marked as diagnostic. As expected, insurance did pay, and I suddenly had a refund for my deposit.

But it doesn't leave me any less skittish about these REs and their looking at our IF as a huge money making machine. It just makes the whole thing hurt even more. The desire seems so simple: a child to love. But what you do trying so hard to get there seems oh so unfair!

That is about where I am right now. Still hurting, still nursing my wounds, still wanting so badly, and not knowing what direction to go next in order to be knocked down again. I promise to try and stop by more often in the new year as I cautiously start this journey again.